Hello there,
I have been in a relationship with a 23 year old man for the past 2 years. In the beginning he was really respectful, fun, and a gentlemen. At the time I was going through some family issues. To avoid having to move back into my parents house I moved into an apartment with him. I waited 2 months before we got exclusive and things were fine, that is until I moved in with him. I am not controlling as a girlfriend, I enjoy my space and freedom and I believe everyone has a right to this. I remember that the first thing he did that started making me feel unsafe was that he put his hands around my neck for no apparent reason as if he was going to choke me over a very small argument. Things went downhill from there. He began talking to other girls on social media (snapchat, facebook, tinder), he was sending them pictures, flirting, receiving innapropriate pictures from them, and even asking them to go out with him. I found out his real "occupation" was selling weed, which I never saw as horrible because its just a plant, but this began to be his scape goat as to why he was messaging these women. It never stopped and every time I confronted him he would explode, and eventually one thing would lead to another and things would get physical. Although, it is usually just him pushing me, holding my wrists, dragging me across the floor, holding me down on the bed. He says he does it because I get "too emotional" and he doesn't want me to leave in that state, but if I fight back or slap him he slaps me right back. He says he would never actually hurt me though. He doesn't even validate me on his social media, which again, I could care less, but at the same time I feel like its because he's just trying to talk to other females. He is very confrontational towards other men, and has tried to fight my dad even. I feel like he has brainwashed me almost, he keeps strict tabs on me and if I do not answer the phone he freaks out. I have stopped seeing my friends, family, and I have even switched to online college because I have a subconscious fear of doing anything without him now. I am very loyal, and I tend to only see the good in people, which yes we have had our good times, but the longer I stay the more I feel alienated and even brain washed by him. I broke it off with him 2 months ago after having a freakout at work and quitting my job because the stress was too much to handle. I took him back shortly after because he repented and promised to change. Since then, he has been quite better and is looking for a legitimate job and has stopped talking to other females, but, I just can't seem to shake the feeling that he is manipulating me, no matter how innocent his disposition seems to be. I'm really frustrated because he says he just didn't know any better and that I needed to teach him how to be a good boyfriend, but I mean how dumb can a 23 year old be?? Also, before I quit my job I was paying half for everything (despite him making more than me), Working 40hours a week (while he did nothing most days other than serve), Taking 2 classes online, and doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I just have this pit in my stomach that says GTFO, but I also do not want to seem irrational. I feel like if he is manipulating me, he very well could as he is very smooth, charming, and lovable. I almost love him like a son now, so the feelings are very confusing. I don't know if anyone has experienced anything like this before, or if its abusive or maybe i'm just nuts?