I trained last night, and didn't feel sick or have a headache! When I trained earlier in the week at C4 again, I was still getting headaches and feeling sick for most of the next day, which really sucked. I was preparing for that again today...

This time it was C3, and a slightly lower frequency again.

I am incredibly tired though... still not sleeping great, and I had trouble falling asleep last night, I think because I was so excited to not feel terrible after the training !

re: Your last T... oh yikes. I understand, about not being able to imagine your life without that connection. Although I don't think I had a good connection with this T, I had thought about quitting, and worried that it would leave me without anyone to talk to. So, I was sort of trying to hang on to that, at least until the NFB could work.

But in that moment, I just realized that... nope, this isn't going to work.

I'm still thinking through it though, mostly because the thought of trying to do therapy with the threat of abandonment ("if you don't meet the goals, in the time frame, I'll refer you out") - seems insane to me. I don't know how anyone can have a healthy therapy relationship like that?

I also wish that I could figure this stuff out faster... it sucks to have spent the money for a year and a half of therapy and to have it end like this, I wish I could get to the point where I can confidently figure it out in the first few months.

Wow! Yes - this is so familiar to me! I had a previous T, my very first T, who thought that I hated him, because I wasn't really "opening up". It was so frustrating, because me not being able to trust him and dive into my stuff wasn't really about him, it was about me, and he just didn't get that. And, looking back, I don't understand how a therapist could not get that - it seems really basic!

This is the stuff though that gives me hope for the NFB! I feel like some of this has to be... brain-based? Because of the way my brain reacts when I get anywhere near thinking about the trauma, it just doesn't lend itself to talking through... but if I can strengthen the resiliency in my brain so that it doesn't feel like walking through a minefield of triggery stuff... that's got to be helpful.

Thanks for telling me about your experiences with sleep and NFB! I still feel like things got better... at some point in that first week or two... there was definite improvement, so I hope that I can get back to that!

Did you also ever have... I think they're called "hypnogogic hallucinations"? It's when you think you hear a sound (or sometimes see or feel something) right as you're falling asleep or waking up (in that "in between" state) - that is alarming, so you jolt awake?

I get those sometimes, though now that I know what they are I don't panic as much and try to just go back to sleep. It's a really weird experience, but I'm totally expecting that to decrease/disappear with the NFB.

He asked about it when we talked through the QEEG, because the QEEG showed something like a 95% chance that I had some sort of injury (???) which is kind of alarming, but he said that it's overestimated and unless I had something specific, or a history of sports, that he tended to not believe it.

I'm really not sure re: childhood stuff, lots of holes... there are a couple things that could have been problematic, and a couple falls as an adult. Nothing that's ever been enough of a problem to get diagnosed though.

And, you're right! I remember reading that too...

Thanks again for sharing how your experience started and progressed! It's really helpful to be able to hear another perspective on it... I haven't tried P4 yet or T3, T4. Hopefully those go better.

I think my next protocol is to combine the two that I just did (C3 first, then C4). I'm probably going to ask him about that though - since C4 didn't feel great last time, but C3 didn't cause any problems. I'd rather just repeat the one that didn't leave me struggling to function the next day

Thanks!