Running too much though I am enjoying having H being able to work from home Tuesdays and Thursdays. The running is an addiction too, but it is tied to the ED. If I don't run, I don't let myself eat as much as I should be eating. And always, always I have the guilt about eating period.

I am anxious right now. My mom is having gallbladder removal surgery. She ended up going to the ER after 3 days of bad stomach pain (stubborn). She had a gallstone ending up in a bile duct, clogging the duct. They are removing her gallbladder but think she may have passed the gallstone in the duct; they will assess during this surgery whether she will need another.

I so hate myself for having panic attacks and anxiety driving on busy roads and freeways. She is at a hospital roughly an hour's drive away, but on the worst and busiest freeways off the Houston metro area, and I just can't drive it to be there right now. Both my sisters are driving out to help, one doing a long drive from the Dallas area, anywhere from a 4-6 hr. drive, that entire route tends to be busy these days.

I should be there, and I'm not because of my stupid panic disorder