Quote:
Originally Posted by octoberful
Your impulse control sounds really severe, and you have identity issues characteristic of BPD. Impulse control is also common with ADD.
What about all the concentration and organizational issues though? They can stem from anxiety or depression or bipolar, but have you considered ADD? Are you taking medications? Health conditions ruled out?
Do you have sex to self-sooth or for attention? Does it feel like an addiction?
Concentration and organization aren't normally part of BPD, that sounds more manic if you were having mixed states. But also can come from meds or health issues.
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I don't have an addiction, and it's not "soothing". It is mainly just attention. I have a SEVERE lack of self worth, that has gotten progressively worse since my last few relationships have been abusive.
My head knows "This person is abusing me". But I just can't stop making justifications or going full fledged back into the relationship because I have such an intense fear of being alone. I knew full well my ex was a dangerous personality disorder'd individual, yet I still tried to plan a life with him and ended up getting pregnant...ON PURPOSE.
I now have to deal with the police, threats of restraining orders, and him threatening to sue me because he believes im unfit and just other random outbursts of his delusions of me. He literally places his OWN disfunctions onto me, often having intense rage episodes and then speaking as if the incident never happened and calling me a pathological liar. I KNEW he was like this, and I KNEW he was dangerous. I just kept going because the idea of being alone to me was terrifying. I began researching how to sooth NPD rages, calm paranoid partners, and every which way how to deal with someone with severe personality disorders and just let him dish out unspeakable verbal abuse onto me.