Thanks for your replies! No, there's really nothing anyone can do. Everything just is what it is. I suppose part of the problem at the moment is simply the weather. We've had just a brutal month here. And since we have a dog who has to go for his twice-a-day walks I'm out in it with him twice every day. (He's a trooper!) It's been wearing though. And it's not over yet.

The other thing, though, is that I've recently fallen back into secret variations on some old patterns I thought I had perhaps left behind. (I'll spare you the details.) And while it's saddening & frustrating when looked at from a healthy mental health perspective, the fact is I have not a drop of interest in trying to do anything to remedy it.

The fact is there are, & have always been, 2 "me's". There's the reasonably healthy, competent me I have always shown to the world... (the one I think you also (hopefully) see here on PC.) And then there's this other crazy, warped person inside I've hidden from the world my entire life. The problem is, & has always been, that every so often the crazy, warped "me" begins to leak out. Which is what is occurring now. And, when it does, I have to figure out a way to regroup & drive it back down. Unfortunately, at this point, I'm just tired of the whole process. And so the idea of simply loosing my grip, & letting myself go overtly insane, feels like it would be such a relief. But no matter. Chances are I'll get it back together. I always have.