Things have smoothed over for the time being but it cycles. With his mood, Buzz, and amount of money in his wallet. Things go from I'm using him for his money to I f#ck everything that walks.. I'm not a cheater. I've been on the receiving end of that one a bit to much. And if I was using him for his money why would I be out job hunting and offering to repay what I ask for? And he goes out and brings me home stuff I don't ask for all the time.. then gets drunk and the record plays the same old song.. ugh. Why does love have to hurt and be complicated? He tells me he will work on his drinking and how much but then falls back into it. Stays drunk and negative regardless of consequences. Like getting in trouble at work. For calling out. And screwing up cause he is so tired from staying up getting drunk. God it's frustrating to watch. Now I know how other people saw me for so long. Maybe this is my pennence or lesson or life experience or chance to help someone. I dunno. But I do love him. Good with the bad right?