Quote:
Originally Posted by Zararose
How can you learn to trust someone new, after being lied to, manipulated, betrayed by someone in the past? Has anyone ever done it?
I'm trying to let go of what I cant control. I can't control him. As much as I want to. If I do, he will only leave me. What scares me is the unknown. People can physically or emotionally cheat and lie about it. They cover it up because it's the easy cowardly way out.
What if he's emotionally cheating on me now? He's surrounded by young fit women at work. He probably checks them out or imagines them without clothes. Haha. He's a guy. Guys a visual sexual beings. What if a connection goes too far or he gets bored of me. I don't think we spend quality time together anymore. It's like I'm just a housemate. Someone to chill with and watch tv with at the end of the day. I hate my body I hate myself.
Has anyone got any thoughts to help let go of what you can't control?
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Have you expressed any of this to him? If so, what was his reaction? If not, I think it'd be a good idea to have a conversation with this about him, and if you decide that's an option for you, my suggestion would be to try taking measures that could prevent the conversation from escalating into an argument. For example, emphasizing that these thoughts are due to your experience with past relationships, and are not his fault. As for the lack of quality time, stating that fact would ideally strive for him and you to work towards what both of you perceive to be quality time.
Also, I have a few questions that only serve to get more information so myself and other posters could possibly help you more.
When did this lack of quality time begin? When he settled into this particular workplace you're paranoid about? Did your distrust arise from these two factors? Or was there already some before this?
Furthermore, how long has it been since you've felt this way towards peoplle in general? Maybe if this has been going on for a long time, seeking a proffesional would help with these thoughts if you haven't already?