I feel for you, I tried suicide as a teenager, I know so young. looking back, I see somehow I got through. one of the reasons which you might not like to hear is I put myself on the psych ward. I got meds and also switched to different hospitals too and we finally found some meds that work, all of this took over 20 years. I am 58 now and am happy but still get depressed at times but I feel like ive accomplished something by staying alive. I have a good husband and son who are extremely understanding of me and my schitzophrenia and bipolar. good luck!!!!