Hello Moose72,

I tried to post on your other thread but I think it may have gotten lost. I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I was wondering if an exercise could help you to feel a bit better during this initial shock phase. Grab a piece of paper and think of everything you love about your child...everything that makes your child unique and wonderful. Write down everything that pops into your mind. Take a few moments to read over the list.

Have any of the traits you admire changed now that your child is openly transgender? Whatever made him/her the wonderful person that they are has remained, yes? The loss in your current experience is complex. You've lost an idea you had about your child and possibly future expectations. What you have not lost, however, is the remarkable individual you raised. That person is still there and always will be each time you look and listen and remember your list.

Not to negate your shock and confusion. You have my empathy. Of course your mind is perplexed by this revelation. That's okay. There are no wrong feelings. Would you be open to speaking with a therapist to help you work through the feelings? Perhaps to gain some strategies and solace?

I wish you and your child a peaceful present and a bright future.