I'm so sorry you're struggling so much, FireWorld Please don't be so hard on yourself. Relapses can happen. It's not your fault. It's clear that you want to get better, but it's not always so easy. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your addiction. There are also some support groups that you could join if you haven't already. Just try to get as much help as you need. You deserve to get better. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Fighting addictions is never easy. Please don't feel guilty about it. It seems clear that you want to get better, otherwise you would have not reached out here to us. I'm sure you'll be able to get through this. It will just take time and some effort. But it can be done. Just try to get some help if you can. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family members that you can reach out? I'm so sorry. It must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. Feel free to vent here as much as you need and want. You know we won't judge you. I promise you that. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do. Take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. I'm sure you're a wonderful person. Stay strong, FireWorld. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Try to hang on. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Plese let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this