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guilloche
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 09:27 PM
 
I'm kind of depressed and slipping in to hopeless.

I did the combined protocol, it was mostly fine. He still thinks I may be over-training, and so this week I'm doing 12m of C3 + 6 minutes of C4. Which is fine.

But, I'm starting to feel like... nothing is ever going to get better. I'm now about a month in (I started in late January). I really wish he did more from a psych background, because I don't think he remembers anything from the initial call (i.e. re: trauma, etc.) It's hard in the short little calls we have, and I don't feel like... like with a therapist you see every week, they know you and remember things you tell them. I feel like he's got too much going on - we had talked about diet stuff a couple weeks ago (I struggle with my weight), but this week he asked if I had low body fat (due to some other issues). Definitely no.

So it's hard. I wish there were more good alternatives. Now that I'm T-less, I wish I had a T who also did NFB, so we could combine the talking and the brain work.

I do think he's getting some things. We talked again about the initial QEEG, and now that he's talked to me a bit, he said that it definitely doesn't show up the way he'd expect for me (mostly everything looks "normal" - except for elevated delta, all over the place, even with eyes open). But, the way he described what he'd expect made me thing he is listening/paying attention.

It's just all hard right now. I hear so many really great stories about how NFB has made significant differences for people, not just Koru_Kiwi here, but in other places online, and in the Dev. Trauma book.

Thanks... just needed to blab a little. I'm also trying to clean up my diet, and I'm guessing that may actually be driving some of the depression (cutting out refined sugars). It just... everything feels hard right now I'm hating my job and my life, and not really seeing any kind of a path forward. It's a little scary with the NFB, I think, since the QEEG isn't actually providing much of a map to go on... and I feel like my moods are all over the place normally, so I'm not a great "reporter" on what's going on for me (to make decisions about how to train).
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