The blame and accusations are getting out of hand. He's pissed off tonight cause I'm texting a friend from out of state, whom I've never met, about his relationship troubles. Apparently I'm at fault for texting. Or having friends. And spending his money as usual. He says he loves me and wants to marry me then gets drunk and all his problems are my fault. All the things that happened to him in previous relationships, I'm doing. I'm obviously such a bad person here. Staying home cooking and cleaning, just got my Cna back trying to get a job to lighten the load.. but everything is my fault. How long am I supposed to hold up under this without cracking? Not to mention I'm only just over 4 months sober and watch him get drunk every day. Sometimes I get so furious at the absolute injustice of it all. But maybe this is the price I have to pay for my wrongdoing. My screw ups in this relationship. I never cheated and I don't lie to him. But he told me I'm forgiven and I'm not. It gets dug up every time he's drunk and pissed off. What life is this when I have to edit myself so brutally? I can't be myself or have friends. Have to walk on egg shells and keep my opinions to myself should they differ from his. God how far I have fallen...