I'm struggling now like I've struggled before. But I go into therapy and say everything is fine. I dont lie exactly. I just focus on the good things and minimize the bad and ignore the real problems. And I don't know how to stop. And I dont know how to get the help I need.
I'm smart. I'm capable. I work full time and am in grad school. I could be on top of things. But I ignore them instead. I ignore my meds and they run out. Or I forget to take them. But, of course, I don't talk about that either. I'm not trying to seek attention or be bad. I know I could fix it. But I dont. And I know that's bad. I do. But it doesn't change what I do.
I'm starting a spiral again. And I dont know what to do to break the cycle. I'm supposed to break free of these memories that are holding me captive but I don't know how.