Quote:
Originally Posted by Zararose
Thank you. I've been trying really hard to change my thinking. Communication is hard because I don't think he knows what to say to me about it. He definetly knows about it. What can he do that doesn't involve changing who he is
About a year ago, I decided I needed to concentrate on helping myself so I decided to pursue new friendships(and prove to myself that you can just be friends with the other sex). That has backfired because now I'm left with a good friend who also makes me feel uncomfortable- i have to tell him to stop or i just ignore him when he takes it too far. Once he sent me a picture of him shirtless ( It was completely out of no where)I don't want to hang out with him in person. Having said that, most of the time he is okay, but I still keep trying to distance myself from him. Now I'm even more uncertain about friendships with the opposite sex. But then if I cut him off completely I'll be back to square one.. friendless with my boyfriend talking to everyone. Ive also been starting to wonder if I'm a little on the spectrum because I'm awkward and I just don't understand friendships. Is sending a shirtless picture of yourself to a friend okay?
Sorry I went on a tangent. I am hearing you!! Now I'm just venting sorry
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Honestly I’d not call talking to male strangers online and sending/receiving semi inappropriate pictures from them “friendship”. You not wanting hanging out with him and being uncomfortable woth him does not translate to “friendship”.
No sending shirtless pictures to “friends” isn’t ok. It’s equally not ok to accept said pictures and go on like nothing happened.
Yes it’s ok to have friends of opposite gender however it’s a bit different to go online and search for them on purpose. My husband has a female friend (she is also married) , they are former college classmates and of course I know her now too. He didn’t go online looking for her
If you have opposite gender friends you introduce them to your significant other and you don’t keep it a secret. Does your boyfriend know about this man? Was introduced to him? If not, what you are doing is somewhat questionable
Why aren’t you looking for female friendships? Why men? And strangers to boot?
I’d talk to a therapist or a doctor re inability to make friendships and difficulty understanding relationship dynamics.