Hi mariajones00, welcome to PC. I think you would greatly benefit from attending an ALCOA meeting near you. This is actually a problem many adult children of alcoholics struggle with. Of course you have reached your limit dealing with this challenge and your mother should reach out for help as well and see if she can find an alanon group near her so at least she has a supportive outlet as well.

It's definitely a terrible disease that affects the entire family. It's especially difficult when dealing with "mean drunks", lets face it, it's scary.

It's understandable that you want your father to get better, however, at the same time when he falls off the wagon it's going to once again affect both you and your mother badly which is why you deserve support where you can sit with others that understand the challenge, also both you and your mother may need therapy as well.