I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, TheLonelyChemist Please don't give up. I don't think you need to give up your dreams. Perhaps you're judging yourself by standards that are a bit too high? I'm not saying that you can't reach out those standards. But perhaps you should take it one step at the time. Otherwise it will all just be too overwhelming for you. I'm sure you'll be able to achieve great things. Please don't give up. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this