Sweetheart, reading this puts me in mind of certain horrible self-destructive thoughts I used to have in a repetitive way. I called my therapist once about them when they were really bothering me, and she suggested I bargain with them. I.E. try to open a dialogue. What did they want from me? What was I willing to give? If they let me alone for awhile, what did they want in return? That sort of thing.

Don't know if it will help but it might be worth a try. All of these demons, sadly, are parts of our selves...