Has anyone bipolar 1 ever find something to fill the emptiness which feels like a black hole? Constanly looking for something new to fill the boredom?

During the week I'm so manic and I get the office pumped and ready. When Friday comes around I'm actually sad and go into a depressed mood till Monday. Tuesday I'm back to it and I'm rocking and rolling.

I hate my home life because it's totally fake. But I ask myself is the grass greener anywhere else? No its not. I've dated so many women and men to find something but to come up empty handed. When I had a full blowout manic episode I'd try to find anyone that could make me happy. I had 3 girlfriends concurrent for awhile and was able to handle them with ease. Every once in awhile I'll settle with one of them for a few months. It wouldnt take long for me to absolutely hate them. I'd literally get sick of my gf and dump them and get a new one the next day or that night.

My stages consists of mid to high level mania 24/7. I never sleep more than 6hrs unless I'm depressed which I can just stay in bed all day.

I absolutely hate people and I rather spend my day alone on a project/hobby. The only real friends I had where bipolar guys like me was back in high school. We went on some crazy nights of hitting party after party picking up chicks here and there being manic as hell. But after high school everyone went their separate ways and ending all the fun. Never could find more friends not even in college that I could relate with. I was on the road of loneliness for 10 years till I found another person like myself.

I think I use to work 7 days a week so I didnt have to think about real life. When I was at work i was manic and goal driven. I'd work in a high stress with lots of deadlines job. I love being so busy that time literally flies and could work 7 days a week no problem. But I'm still lonely no matter what. I think that's just part of it, having that emptiness.

I do feel a massive change in my life coming soon. Time to advance forward to a new challenge and chapter in my life.

Thank for reading and replying to the post for those that understand and are going through the same thing.