Mar 05, 2019 at 05:33 AM
I am soooo much better than I was just 2 years ago. Lots of EMDR and ego state therapy. My emotional flashbacks are less infrequent, I no longer self harm and my eating disorder has disappeared. I can handle more tasks and not get so overwhelmed. I tolerate a lot more.
Now not sure if it from all the therapy or is it from just getting older, have I just created an environment where triggering things and events have been diminished otherwise known as my "safety bubble"? I am really not sure. My T would say otherwise.
I still hate the human race and would much rather live on an island all alone. I also can not wait until I just die of whatever I am suppose to die of. Is that PTSD or just left over damage from childhood trauma?
Anyway I think if a real assessment was done on me I would no longer meet the criteria of PTSD. Just some emotional flashbacks and trying to isolate and avoid.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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