Unfortunately I have to stick with this shrink the place I go to is like a state thing so I am stuck.I have seen about five different shrinks here they have such a quick turn over at this place.ONe of the doctors I really loved she was so nice but she left after about nine months.That is my luck get close to someone then they leave.I feel kind of tired because I was up all night just felt to wound up and I cried this morning again.Maybe this sounds silly but I am missing my mom so much I know she has been gone for a long time since last June 9th.Do you know she wouldnt talk to me for two weeks before she passed away she wouldnt talk to anyone .My kids would go and see her they would tell me it is a good thing I didnt go there to see my mom she was just awful . Still there are days when I wish I could call her on the phone.I do talk to her and my late husband.I lost a brother ,a cousin I was very close to my mom and dad so I have nonone to talk to except my friend who visits with me after work.She really doesnt get why I am like this but she will listen to me.Sometimes I think I make her cry too.I wish my kid would come to visit with me more then they do.I see my daughter about once a year and she lives only about twenty minutes from me and my son about ten.I have to beautiful grandchildren but I never get to see them.I need help with some things and they wont help me to busy.I love them both so much but I feel hurt .Like what did I ever do to them?I was never busy when they needed me.You know what my friend has the same problems with her kids they just dont want to bother I am sorry but this to me is very upsetting.Just before my momm became really sick we would talk every single day but she never understood my mental illness matter of fact one time she even said to me you have had this illness for a long time now dont you think it is time to get rid of it/You cannot get rid of it. My mom I believe had her own mental illness ,LIke she really was depressed and I believe she might have had anxieties herself she worried even more then me.She would never admit to it.I loved her and my dad so much even though they verbally and physically abused me.