The reason I waited so long to get a divorce.....31 years,was the fear of being alone. Ihave now been alone for 18 years! It gets a little easier...little by little. I was in my 50's when I got the divorce (31 years of abuse)...The one sentence that helped me the most : "Try to let the side of you that is trying to save yourself....win." I had to figure out paying bills, car stuff, home maintenance.....It was the fear of the unknown. It took all of the courage I had to leave, so I understand your feelings. If you wish, you can pm me. xo