Basically for years I just had walls all around who I was, I was just outwardly sarcastic, not really that emotional at all and everyone around me including my parents said that I was a sociopath. I've no history of harming anything or the likes I just don't really particularly care either way about others.

Well now I have been thinking about it and I am not really sure that I am feeling my own feelings, or if they are just the feelings that are proper for the situation I'm in. I'm always proper to the situation I'm in but I can't help but to feel like the natural feelings I get are kind of just fake and for other people. And it otherwise feels like I have lost the idea of who I actually am deep down or I have lost the idea of how to play myself.

Just curious if anyone else can give advice on what I may be experiencing, I've been to a couple therapist and their diagnosis was essentially "you're smart" and so I just want to figure stuff out.

Thank you for any help you can offer