Well... I wish I knew what to tell you about this. I've been hiding who I really am for so many decades I no longer have any idea. And, at this point, it really doesn't even matter. I simply keep to myself now.

I recall once, many years ago, going in to see a school counselor at the college I was attending. I described for him what I was experiencing (which I now realize was probably depression... probably related to cPTSD.) And at the end of my session the counselor's response was to tell me I seemed to have a pretty good handle on my situation.

I don't know what to tell you about what you may be experiencing. I think this is the kind of thing a person ought to be able to get from working with a good therapist. But, of course, the key is to find a good therapist. I personally never had much in the way of success with that.

I guess the other way to proceed is to perhaps take some of the quizzes & tests that are on offer here on PC. Here's a link to the listing of quizzes & tests that are avaialble:

Psychological Quizzes and Tests