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missbella
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Member Since Jun 2010
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Default Mar 10, 2019 at 12:58 PM
 
I try to approach support as being a guest in someone else's backyard. That means it's not my place to "correct" perceptions to align with mine. Heck, I wasn't there. I see something the same way if I was.

I've often had to receive feedback in my creative work often whether I want it or not. To survive, I've had to learn to distinguish the sages from the impostors. In person, I usually can detect the ego jockeys from paces away. They often throw their heads backward like striking snakes, take a big inhale and hurl criticisms like ammunition. They're scornful and angry. It's not about me or my work; it's about them. The sincere people are my peers and partners. The destructive people want to be my superiors and paradoxically are not.

When giving other's feedback I talk about what I hear and often ask questions. I try not to "criticize," but to inspire thinking.

Maybe it's a little different in life at large. But I was taught the safest bet is to talk about my own approaches to what might be similar problems. That way I haven't jumped fences, so to speak, and the original poster can take or leave my experiences.

I experience prescription, instruction or worse, scolding comes from another person's vanity. I think those who freely dispense life lessons are the last people who should do it.
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