Hey- keep your chin up-I so get it. AA meetings helped me and I have been sober for almost 7 years now. You should absolutely not try and stop drinking at home. You must consider inpatient. Unlike drugs- alcohol withdrawal can kill you and cause seizures, delusions etc. I was working with a newcomer and we were at the diner. She had been sober 12 hours and had a grand mal seizure in the diner. I had to hold her head a little and keep her from biting down on her tongue and maintain her airways- a first for me. I stopped drinking at home and it was hard. I am convinced the only reason I did not have seizures was because I was on lamictal. I regret not being with it enough to consider rehab or detox. You cant stop drinking because you are an alcoholic. You need to learn the skills to stop drinking and alternatives to dealing with pain and discomfort. AA really worked for me (after the 4th time when I stopped judging and making excuses) but it may not work for you. You may be consequence free for now but it wont last long. The physical and emotional consequences will come, not to mention the dangers of driving drunk. And you will probably say you would never drive drunk or have never driven drunk but think about that panic of running out of alcohol that you are experiencing...driving drunk "just this one time" because the liquor store is "so close" doesnt seem so bad ....