I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Neverbeagain Please don't be so hard on yourself. There's no need to be ashamed of yourself. You did nothing wrong. You're just struggling. I know it's painful. Please don't give up. I'm so sorry your therapist wasn't too helpful to you. I'd suggest to try to find another one if you can. It can take time before we're able to find the right therapist for us. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done. Don't give up hope! Things can and will get better soon for you. You just need to ask for help. You deserve to be helped and you deserve to be loved. I hope you'll be able to find the help you need and deserve. You deserve to be happy and to live a good life just like everyone else does. Please try to be kind to yourself. You're a strong, wonderful person, Neverbeagain. Skeezyks gave you some great advice and links. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. Stay strong, Neverbeagain. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Please don't give up. Try to hang on. Things will get better. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. Ask for help. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Neverbeagain. You're a wonderful person