Quote:
Originally Posted by EuphoricallyContent
You are not petty at all for feeling this way! This is pretty stressful behavior to deal with and props to you for sticking it out for this long. I believe having a serious talk is very much needed and if need be, see a therapist that could mediate that discussion. Also, there are many resources online as well that pertain to your position. I believe there are programs like Al Anon for loved ones of those addicted to other substances.
Also, instead of gum, he could always try patches. The nicotine can greatly influence moods and outbursts. I know this from personal experience. It is scary to see how much of a rage lack of nicotine can cause.
Above all, please take care of yourself and if things go too far or continue to go downhill, put yourself first.
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Thank you. Truly. Your response really helps. I really feel like his mood has dramatically deteriorated since he started chewing gum in November. Like I've become his enemy. And that really really hurts.
Again, I feel almost silly because it could be so much worse. But also, it could be better. And more than anything, the hold these addictions have on him scares me. I don't trust him not to go too far.
Yesterday was a bad day. He gets so upset with me over nothing. And then he just shuts himself away from me. For hours. I worry what he'll do when he is shut away. He is entirely dependent on substances. He wakes up and takes a 5 hour energy. Then he drinks a pot of coffee. Chewing that gum. He takes his kratom. If I try to talk to him before he's done all this, he yells at me. Then he is riding on that for awhile and he will be really happy and friendly. Around midday, he takes more kratom. He starts to get grouchy. He usually drinks more coffee. Still chewing gum. By the evening, he is really cranky and just wants to 'relax'. He takes sleep aids to knock him out. And-- that's how it goes. Every day. He needs something to wake up. something to get him going. Something to keep him going. And then something to knock him out for the next day.
Its hard for me because-- I'm very much a natural gal. I hesitate to even take ibuprofen. I rarely take medication unless I need to (even agreeing to take my anti depressant and bipolar medication took years). Maybe its because my family has a problem with addiction and I know that I am prone to becoming an addict myself.
Anyhow, thank you for the reply. I have really felt alone lately. I feel like this man who told me he'd never hurt me and would do anything for-- that he's a stranger now. And I know how quickly this can nosedive. And I'm so terrified about that happening.