Recently I heard something that really helped. Forgiveness isn't a line we have to cross, instead it's a path we choose to take. Now, it's important most of all for forgive "self" because one of the challenges that one experiences with trauma/abuse and ptsd is struggling to forgive self for not preventing whatever took place and how that hurt you and made you feel so "unsafe".

This is something so many that struggle with ptsd can relate to feeling, especially someone who experienced abuse from a parent or family member. I can definitely relate to feeling this way myself, especially right now with what I am going through that has really been so dysfunctional and toxic.

We do have to live with whatever we experience in our lives, it's true, but the goal is to live and learn to heal despite these experiences. I am working very hard at that myself right now. I am dealing with some very toxic things right now and I am honestly not quite sure how to deal with it all tbh. I have decided to just do the best I can and more importantly do my best to not "just" react and that can most definitely be a challenge, especially with what I am dealing with right now.

I am for the most part taking things one day at a time and at the same time trying very hard to forgive myself for whatever I find too difficult to engage in.