If you really need help and are not getting it I recommend point blank asking them why they wont help. Now be prepared to hear excuses and not like the answer but ask anyway. Once asking is over with I think you should seriously reconsider helping them in most ways. You are not a walking bank or just a babysitter. They sound selfish and wrapped up in their own lives right now. You have a right to tell them this. Next time they ask you you can just tell them that you needed them and they chose not to help so you are choosing to take a step back. Most important is to tell them how much they have hurt you.