I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, dancinglady I'm so sorry you're feeling so lonely. Is there anyone that you can reach out to? Any friends or family members? I'm so sorry, it must be very hard for you. Please don't give up. We're here for you to listen to you if you need it. We won't leave you alone you here. Comparing ourselves to others is tempting, but it's best to avoid it. Remember that even the people who seem the happiest at the moment may be struggling with something at the moment. You don't know for sure. Try to remember that if you can. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. Just try to do your best. That's all you can do after all. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, dancinglady