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Old 03-13-2019, 07:47 PM
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SilverTrees is wishing everyone peace and hope.
 
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Default Re: People are ruder lately?

I have not personally noticed more rudeness in my neck of the woods. But I did read that the numbers indicate that "hate crimes" have risen. Though those are obviously two different categories: rudeness and hate crimes.

With regard to rudeness, I make it a point to self-monitor...am I being a peaceful presence everywhere I go? Am I giving people the benefit of the doubt? My brother has something called a negative attribution bias. If we were walking down a busy street and he accidentally got bumped by someone in the crowd, he would immediately assume that someone was out to get him/shoved him on purpose. Whereas I would assume there was a lack of space and it got crowded and then move on with my day.

With regard to rudeness or negative traits in others, I try to train myself not to look for them, if that makes sense. If like my brother, I walked around with a large chip on my shoulder, I'd find all kinds of things to be upset about in others. If I look for goodness in others wherever I go, I am more likely to find it. When I don't find it, I step back from such a person and re-route. It's much much easier said than done but I try.

For example, there is an employee at my local store who irritates me. When I use the self-check (my preference) he hovers around and often gives me directions on how to use the device even though I already know how to do it. I was thinking about this the other day. I could interpret him as arrogant and checking up on me with the hovering or assuming I'm going to steal. Or I could assume that he is trying to be helpful in his own way and takes his job quite seriously. Who knows? I'm not in his mind.
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