I totally feel you. When I take adderall every once in a while, it makes me feel like a brand new person.

But a couple years ago I liked the feeling so much that I started taking it every day. Soon the euphoria and happiness wore off but I had to keep taking it because if I stopped, then I crashed and felt absolutely horrible. Eventually it messed up my sleep enough that it sent me manic.

I cannot lie and say I don't still take it every once in a while, but I only take it for what I deem "emergencies." Please don't get in the habit of taking it regularly, that's very dangerous even for someone without bipolar.