Thank you all so much for your love and support, guys I feel like I don't even deserve it to be honest. There was nothing in particular that made me write this. I've been feeling like this for a long time... I guess the title is true. I just couldn't keep it inside me. But I didn't know who to turn up to. I'm so sorry I wrote so much here. I didn't want to bother anyone. I just couldn't take it. I still think all of this is my fault. I just can't share my problems with others. Not my therapist, not my parents... I just can't do it. I'm too afraid to humiliate myself and to be judged. Just the thought of it scares me so much. If I don't ask for help, I'll stay like this forever... but I just can't do it. I just can't If only I were stronger, like all of you are. You're all struggling with much worse things than me and yet you're able to manage it all... what about me? What excuse do I have? I don't have excuses. And yet I just can't be honest. I can't ask for help. It's all my fault because I'm doing all of this to myself I don't blame others for not wanting to be around me. I don't even want to be around myself, why should others? They're right in doing so. It's not their fault. I'm male, btw. I'm so sorry for the confusion Thank you all so much for being here for me. I'm so sorry for dumping all of this to you. You don't deserve it. Sending many hugs to everyone