What are you going to do when you celebrate your 50th birthday and wake up the next morning?

I had a bf when I was 18 who would say he didn’t plan to live past 23. That was very disturbing to me. I tried to discuss with him exactly what and why he was thinking and saying that. I was one factor I broke it off with him. As far as I know he is still alive. We are over 50 now.