I understand what you mean, raging vortex Sometimes I have thought about it as well. I don't think it's wrong at all! It's normal to set up the age we want to live. I don't think you're wrong in doing it, as long as you don't do anything dangerous. Most of us want to live a fulfilling life, after all. If it's helping you to plan your life better, then go ahead and keep doing it! Anything that may help you feel better. Just stay safe and take care of yourself. We all love you here. Please remember that. Sending many hugs to you, raging vortex. You're a strong, wonderful person