Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverConfused
That's a really useful suggestion, Nemo 1934. I'll try to remind myself to prioritize differently. (It definitely helps to have someone else say it, too)
There's a small part of my that wants to talk about it because I want him to reciprocate these feelings, but mostly it's:
1. Because I'm hoping that by telling him everything, putting it all out there, and seeing that he doesn't share those feelings might help me move past it.
2. If I feel like I can't share everything with him, it makes it hard to trust myself when I'm talking to him. It feels like I have to try and filter myself more.
3. I just need to talk to *someone* about it, and he's really the only person I could potentially tell.
4. It's significant enough in my daily life that, if I felt this way about someone else, I'd definitely be talking to my T about it.
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I can certainly relate to all of those as well. It's nice to know I'm not alone, so thanks for your honesty. There is a part of me that feels like it's dishonest on my part to not reveal the totality of my feelings for my T. That's rooted in my fear of it not being acceptable. I also don't want to be kicked out of the room. I also don't want a situation where she might think everything I say or do has some hidden background motives based on my feelings for her. I am very comfortable with the current dynamics of our relationship and feel I'm in a very safe place to be flawed and know I'm accepted. I just don't want to take the chance of changing any of that right now because it took literally years to find.
I think there is value added to the relationship by allowing the tension to remain in place for me that outweighs taking the chance of upsetting the current flow. I can also see where each person must determine what fits for their unique circumstances. I think you should follow your heart on this one. Love is never wasted or bad, and it doesn't need to be reciprocated to be real.