I am VERY sorry you experienced that ((Calla)), because you have suffered abuse too and it's SO HARD when you react in trying to stand up for yourself as I did see you do, only to have that deleted. When it comes to suffering abuse and struggling with PTSD or Complex PTSD, experiencing something like that can be extremely invalidating and triggering. I have experienced that myself.

However, the reason that happens is really not meant to hurt you and invalidate you even though it really feels that way. Instead the only reason that takes place is to prevent threads from becoming a thread of members combatting each other which begins to take away from the purpose of this site which is supposed to provide, as best as possible a safe place to vent and share where members can get support. That can't happen if threads end up turning into long drawn out fights or arguements between members.

It is a challenge to not respond or react, I am sure other members here can agree and have experienced their own challenges with this. I know I have experienced it. It was hard considering not only my history but also what I was experiencing IRL. However, even though it was hard at times for me and I even contended with being suspended which really invalidated me and triggered me. I somehow found it in me to keep trying because I really needed someplace I could interact for support. Actually, as hard as it was I slowly learned how to step back and not react and that was so hard considering what I was dealing with IRL. It ended up helping me slowly, and I do mean slowly to build up an ability to "not" react. I have used those skills IRL too, so it did help me overall. It's not giving an abuser power either, often abusers actually WANT you to react badly so they can say their behavior is YOUR fault. So what I learned here I applied to my extremely challenging IRL challenges which were infinitely harder than anything I have encountered here on this site. Actually, since I posted my last post to our new member I was once again hit with MORE toxic IRL. I found myself asking the same question this new member is asking, WHY, WHY? Seriously, haven't we ALL asked this question???? Felt this anger and frustration???

TheUrOther, we here in this forum get it, we are trying to be supportive to you. Yet, the one thing I CAN say to you, is the solution is not striking out, not at us who are struggling too. That's not the answer here, it's not the solution because all that does is give other people who don't know what it means to struggle like us a reason to keep IGNORING us. I see it, you are coming here and venting and you definitely have a great deal of anger. We here, other individuals who also struggle with PTSD, experience the same questions of this WHY and can get very angry with how humanity doesn't HELP us nor understand us, want to support you. Yet, we cannot do that when you lash out at us, and it doesn't even help our cause, what we want other people to understand is how we struggle. How alone it can be even when we don't want it to be and how little support there really is for so many of us. We need to support each other in our effort to say here in this forum, someplace where we can say just how hard it is and that we are NOT bad people, we are hurt people and here is what happened to us and how can we change that.

All I know is right now I am dealing with something bad and it seems there is really nothing in place that can help me with what I am facing, it's an abusive person who is abusing powers, and once again saying I did something I never did and will NOT let me see my dying mother where I can be alone with her. My mom was my best friend and the only answer I have is to either allow my abuser to hang over me, or completely distance altogether and not even try to see my mother. Someone said to me, the times for being alone with my mother are gone and just try to be positive about the times I was able to experience that. Does that mean the abuser wins? Well, in my honest opinion, no one wins when things get toxic like that. And the same is true when we react in anger here with each other, none of us gain anything from that.

Just know that others here can relate to your anger and frustrations. We need to find a way to at least come together and share our pain so others can see how we struggle and stop IGNORING the things that resulted in how all of us do struggle. There is a slow and gradual awareness taking place, unfortunately, it does take time to figure out solutions and preventions.