Hi Romantic Rose. Sorry you are struggling with this. I think it's probably quite common. I don't think it says something about you other than you are experiencing trauma. That's complex and can affect our minds in various ways. Have you ever read about Stockholm Syndrome? It may be of interest to you.

You said you cut ties recently. I'd recommend being kind and patient with yourself. Your feelings or attachment to the person you mentioned will likely shift over time with healing and self-appreciation.

There are no wrong feelings. And all feelings are temporary.

I wish you peace.