So sorry for your loss Xmascarol. Losing a parent can be mind-altering. Particularly given that you already lost your father and brother. Sounds like you have experienced a lot of major losses in a relatively short time period which could explain why you are struggling to find any peace.

I am also wondering if the nature of your mother's illness and death added another level of trauma to your grief...basically stopped eating and no longer wished to live.

Are you open to speaking with a therapist about your feelings? It may also help you to read about 'complicated grief.' I'm not a psychologist but wonder if you may be experiencing some of those symptoms.

Do you have a support network or other significant attachments in your life? A close friend? A thoughtful neighbor?

Some people find grief support groups helpful. Others don't. Grief is so unique for each individual. When my father died, my siblings and mother each responded in different ways.

I am sorry you are in such pain. I hope you will find some peace soon.