Sorry you are so unhappy Silk Chaos.

I don't agree with your therapist's suggestion that you should "believe something better will come along." From my perspective that would place in you in a very passive position in life which would be less likely to create the happy life you wish to live. Happiness doesn't typically come to us. We seek it in various ways. Like finding a partner for example. If we don't go on dates, we'll never find a partner. At some point, we decide that we're ready for one and start searching.

I have lived with depression since early childhood. I've done CBT and tried various meds. Meds never helped me; just made me ill from side effects. I haven't taken them for years. CBT was very helpful. Though it didn't get me quite as far as I wanted to go. What has changed for me recently is a different approach to my feelings and unhappiness. I am finding daily mindfulness and meditation extremely beneficial. My partner has noticed that I am "happy" more often and my moods are more balanced overall.

If you have been going to therapy for years and you feel that you are as miserable as when you started, the problem could be one of two things. Either you have the wrong therapist for you or the type of therapy you have tried does not mesh with your needs. How does that strike you? I'm a big believer in switching paths if the one I'm on does not seem to be helping.

How do you define happiness? Is that a silly question? Something I have asked myself a lot. Because nobody is happy all of the time, right?....not every moment of every day. That's not possible. For me, happiness is some positive moments in each day. These can be small things. An enjoyable food or beverage. A soft blanket or long hot shower. Connecting with and supporting others on PC. Completing tasks on my checklist, either at work or at home. Giving my partner a hug or doing his laundry. Sending my stressed out sister a kind message with a hopeful guided meditation for her to try. Going for a walk outside. Being near trees or water for a while.

Have you ever seen the documentary 'Happy?' It's available on Netflix. It helped me a great deal. There is research from all over the world on what makes some people happier than others. There are also practical tips on how to increase our own happiness levels. If I recall correctly, researchers broke down that 40% of our subjective level of happiness is self-determined. That's aside from genetic factors and socioeconomic status.

I've changed my thinking. I used to think of myself as a broken depressive with a genetic imbalance which meds didn't "cure." So I went through a long period of feeling doomed. Then I started researching other ways of thinking about unhappiness...I stepped away from the medical model. I figured well I'm still alive so I've got to try something new because I don't want to feel this way forever. I took a holistic approach. Thus far, it really seems to be helping. It's not like flipping a switch. I actively work on it each day. I think of it as building my happiness skills. I think all humans need to do that. There are very few people who are simply born optimistic and always look on the bright side of things. The rest of us have to train our brains to look for the positives every single day.

One study indicated that people who practice daily gratitude had a 25% increase in their subjective happiness level after 3 months.

You said "Things are what they are and there is no changing them. I try to not worry about that which I cannot control."

There is a lot of power in not worrying about that which we cannot control. However, it is not helpful to tell ourselves that nothing will change. Life by its very nature is always bringing changes. Nothing is static. The only guarantee that you will never find happiness is if you tell yourself it's impossible. That's a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy. I lived that way for years....subsisted really rather than lived. It was horrible. I'd rather spend the rest of my days working on building happiness than assuming it's impossible.

Write down what would make you happy. What do you want in life? A new job? Close friends? A pet? Fun hobby? Social group? Partner? Write it all down and then pick one or two. Or the one that is most important to you. Then write down ways of bringing that into your life.

My thoughts are from a place of care and regard for you based on my own struggles. You do not have to agree I care that you are unhappy and I really hope you can find peace and joy in your own way.