Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
Sounds to me as though you are much more interested in administering the stick, though.  |
Everyone else has the carrots covered. No one is driving stick.
Not one act of abuse that has been done to me has ever been punished. Of
course people are going to continue to abuse me if there is never any downside! Why would they ever stop? What is their incentive to not abuse me when there is no real risk for their gain? All they have to do is outnumber me - which is easy to do, as their slander and rumor-mongering has guaranteed I'll never have allies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
There is no such thing as 'bad' -- it is misleading to use the word. There are things, and then there are our feelings about them. When we can fully feel what we feel, then we can also think about them more clearly. We can consider them to be, not 'bad' but disordered.
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That is absolutely false. They are doing clear, objectively-provable harm. That is the definition of "bad. Our "feelings" are irrelevant in the face of proof. Focusing on feelings is how one becomes an abuser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
My experience is that there are a whole lot of people who do not think clearly about emotional disorders, who have them but do not recognize it. It is characteristic of emotional damage that it causes thinking to be discarded in favor of pure reactive emotion. It is part of the way we are built. Seems to me that there are lots and lots of them in the world -- we have only to pay attention to what is happening in our societies to see it. Sometimes it feels as though it is everybody -- including a lot of supposed "professionals". I hope it is not everybody -- some of us are trying to find a way out, a way where we too do not react only out of instant emotion (instinct), but try to think about things.
It is hard.
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It's not hard for me. If you want to think and not act out of instinct, you must think of your emotions as a weapon to
wield, separate but controlled, and not an inseparable part of you. Emotions are like fire - they are useful only when tightly controlled - otherwise, they are a disaster waiting to happen.