changing boundaries with T when something we relied on is taken away is hard. Is there something T can help put in place to replace what is now gone? Like if you can no longer email between sessions could you now journal and check in with the journal at the start of each session? I mention email because I am pretty sure my T is thinking about changing his email boundary with me. He has stated from the beginning that he prefers we not use it, that we call instead. My T is working on it gradually though. He warned me that he would be responding to my emails less often and not as quickly... but I can always call. He also lets me know why which helps. His email is not confidential, he misses too much information in written form (things he can hear in a persons voice) and he sees it as distancing from real contact with him. He is also waiting on the timing of introducing it. He didn’t want to ask me to reach out to him in a way that is uncomfortable for me (phone) until we had gone through some uncomfortable things in session so that I know he will help me through both the discomfort of calling as well as what ever else is bothering me. I have not been able to call so he knows I am not feeling safe enough with the phone yet so taking away email would close a door between us.
If it was a situation he could not be so gentle with and take his time he would expect it to deeply undermine my trust and feeling of safety with him no matter how irrational I knew it to be. So, basically he would know we would go back to the level of fear I had our first session or worse. He wouldn’t keep rehashing the why, or allow me to keep rehashing the why. We would spend a LOT of time talking about the feelings it brought up and other times I have had those feelings.