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Old 03-16-2019, 10:56 AM
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
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rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,365

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Default When a friend allows someone to cheat

Has anyone ever had a friend that basically allowed someone else to cheat on their girlfriend or boyfriend? I have a friend that does that. She claims to not have feelings for a certain guy we both were friends with in college, yet she will go hot and cold with him and go through phases where she will want to have sex with him. At times she will have sex with him and other times she will bail on him at the last minute and ignore him for long periods of time until she feels horny again. I know, very uncomfortable and awkward to hear or talk about.

Never thought I would have to hear or talk about this. Trust me, when I heard she was doing this when she admitted it, it sort of changed my view on her a bit. We are just friends but it makes me wonder how she truly views relationships with others. The big problem though, is that she knows the guy has another girlfriend, yet still allows him to cheat on her. I know people have the tendency to do "stuff" together on and off but it is a totally different situation when cheating is involved.

The guy is purposely cheating on his girlfriend and my friend is allowing it to happen. Is allowing someone to cheat on their significant other make the person just as bad as the person cheating? I kind of feel like it is sine it is disrespectful towards the person who is being cheated on and makes it seem like whoever allows someone else to cheat sees relationships as disposable or not as serious. What do you guys think? Also she at times will try to hide it and pretend she is done doing that stuff but she has done it so many times before that it is extremely obvious when she is lying and hiding it. She will all the sudden be on her phone way more than normal and act all fidgety and nervous like she is worried someone will catch her at any moment and if she is cancelling plans then her excuses are terrible and may even change.

I am not in a relationship with her obviously and never have or never will have feelings with her, but I will admit, if I did or if I had feelings with someone else who allowed the same kind of stuff to happen, it would be an immediate turn off since I would be afraid of being cheated on. She will go back and forth between admitting what she is doing is wrong but then going back to doing it anyway. Not sure why people are like that or why they allow their desires for sex to overcome proper judgment but it happens. Could this also indicate some other underlying issues as well? I just find it weird to hear about someone allowing another person to cheat on someone by having sex with them but then going cold. Makes me wonder if she either actually really likes him but doesn't want to admit it or just sees him as someone to have sex with.
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