Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
Yes, I was very upset with his mixed messages. How can you kiss someone on the cheek, then tell them, "see you online!" where you proceed to bombard them regularly with flirty regular messages, after you reject them over the phone, "I'm trying to get back with my ex." It's crazy-making behavior and he's nearly 60 years old. So, there's no excuse for such nonsense. My friend told me, "he's trying to make you his emotional placeholder" while he decides what he wants to do about his ex (or whomever he is dating or wants to date, which clearly isn't me).
I definitely would like to find someone who is positive, healthy and respects me and has good boundaries. I don't know why I can't find that. This experience really upset me b/c I thought he and I had great chemistry in person but apparently, that could be him mirroring me, or the chemistry was totally fake on his end. I have no clue. I deserve better treatment. I don't know why it has to be so hard.
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I was thinking about this later on, StreetcarBlanche, and I think this guy is a jerk. You can do better for sure. I myself, am not dating right now. But I've heard the advice "be what you seek," before, and it makes sense. It may sound cheesy, but I'll give it anyway: what if you yourself worked on becoming positive, healthy, respected yourself and others, and had good boundaries? If this is already you, I apologize and please feel free to discard if it doesn't resonate.
And yes he gave you majorly mixed messages. I personally think some men need therapy that they're never going to seek and get. I'm glad you Bye Felipe'd him. There
are great guys out there too. I've met some. I'm learning that they are the ones that tend to seem boring to us who are attracted to the bad boys and the unavailable. Another piece of great advice I found in my own personal journey, is to
not go for the ones who are like a passion pit of "chemistry." Don't go for the roaring fire. Go for the lower heat. Not the zero heat. Just...the coals are warm, smoking, but not burning. Attraction grows sometimes, I've been told. I'm also learning that no one is perfect and no one will fill that void for me. Always trust your gut too.
You may need to kiss your own frogs and learn this for yourself. Or perhaps you will learn something different from what I'm even telling you. Regardless, you deserve better and I wish you peace, happiness, health, respect, and good boundaries
