My Support Forums - View Single Post - Husband feels like my son and I are mostly the problem because of our mental illness

sarahsweets · Mar 17, 2019 at 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nowinners

Sarahsweets, I appreciate all the feedback you give on PC; lots of great observations and advice.

When I am really struggling, I overshare on here about my H and son, so I am trying not to do as much of that anymore and have improved but still have a ways to go.

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt anxious and depressed. On those days, I vacilate between my kids are struggling because of my mental illness (and I am lucky that my H hasn't left me/supports me) verses my H caused the problems (not wanting to be specific) and I am just as guilty because I wasn't brave enough to leave. The way my mind jumps from one conclusion to the other--literally makes me feel like I am going mad.

I feel a little better this morning and my H's hug and supportive words meant the world to me this morning. I am glad I erased the graffeti!

I'm sorry you're struggling and it is hard for me to give you feedback without any context but I do think you are being hard on yourself. I have never been one to support self blame or anything of the sort when it comes to mental illness .I don't think you should look at yourself as “lucky “that your husband hasn't left you over your mental illness. When we marry people we marry partners; partners that promise to support us through thick and thin. Your husband didn't marry you on the condition of you remaining perfect did he ?

Looking at things from that perspective it is easy to think that you are a failure or at least internalize that you are a failure. But I do not believe that is the case. I believe that you are very introspective to be thinking about things this way.It's important to take care of yourself. That means beyond pleasing others or making sure everybody else is OK. Taking care of yourself can be something as simple as getting proper sleep to something as elaborate as getting therapy. Whatever works for you. Just as long as you don't forget your self and pull yourself out of the equation.