I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Tryingtobehappy5 I completely agree wit what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. AA meetings can be scary at first, but it seems like you did pretty well! I'd suggest to give it a try and do some more meetings. If you like the group, I think it's worth giving it a try. Also good on you for taking courage and going to that meeting! That means that you DO want to get better. Be proud of yourself for that. Try to do some more meetings and see how it goes from there. If it doesn't work out too well for you, you can always leave later. I'd suggest to just listen the first few meetings and share your problems one step at the time. Perhaps the others will share more as well! Just because they don't talk about suicide or Mi, it doesn't mean they aren't struggling with it as well. After all, you didn't talk about it either, right? Just take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. You could try other groups as well if this one doesn't work out. Just try to share things, even step by step, a little at the time. I'm sure you can do this! I believe in you. I'm so glad that you're trying to get help. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you, Tryingtobehappy5. Stay strong and keep fighting! We all believe in you! You're a strong, wonderful person