Thanks for sharing this. When I was younger, I always presumed that, as I aged, I would mellow. But it doesn't seem to be happening that way. My insides churn 24 /7. I don't have anything to be nervous about. But after a lifetime of running on my nerves, so to speak, I think my body simply doesn't know how to function any other way.

I think as we get older we gradually lose the capacity to control things we used to be able to keep under wraps. At least that has been the case with me. I find myself becoming like an old barrel with leaks springing out first here then there. I keep trying to patch the leaks up. But as soon as I get one under control, another one starts to dribble somewhere else. I sometimes begin to wonder at what point the whole barrel will just come apart... much to my embarrassment.

I hope that, in some way, you may yet find the inner peace you seek.