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Old 03-17-2019, 08:45 PM
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Default Re: internalized homophobia

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
How does one get any experiences though?

If we're talking sexual experiences, it seems the only option is random hook-ups with complete strangers and due to the bad experiences I've already had, I absolutely couldn't do that. It would further cement my negative feelings towards sex and I would be afraid it would really traumatize me. I'm not sure if my former experience could be classified as "trauma" but I'd have to at least feel safe with the person first. That can't happen with a stranger.

And with no experiences or connections really, I can't really tell what my identity is or have any connection to it. I guess I'll just always be empty and without a sense of self. I guess I'll always feel like a fraud.

Are you able to even bring yourself to go on a date with someone new? I mean, the only way to avoid a random hook-up is to know the person first, and the only way to know them is to meet them (unless it is a person you know from your life who is also bi-curious or gay). So how do you personally meet people, whether for fun, dating, etc.?


Here in the US, as I can see that you are also here, there is Meetup.com that is a great way to meet people in social settings. Just look for LGBT/gay/queer/lesbian/whatever groups and join them and participate. You'll be able to get to know people, talk about experiences (or lack thereof, maybe find potential dates outside of the group).



If you cannot bring yourself to meet new people, then I would reiterate the prior suggestions of therapy or support groups to help you determine options that will work for you.



But it sounds as if the root of your problem is just not accepting yourself as anything remotely LGBT. And that is definitely something that only professional clinical support can help you deal with directly.
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