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Old 03-17-2019, 11:52 PM
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Skull&Crossbones Skull&Crossbones is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: United States
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 280

1 yr Member
Default Re: internalized homophobia

Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsicalman View Post
Are you able to even bring yourself to go on a date with someone new? I mean, the only way to avoid a random hook-up is to know the person first, and the only way to know them is to meet them (unless it is a person you know from your life who is also bi-curious or gay). So how do you personally meet people, whether for fun, dating, etc.?


Here in the US, as I can see that you are also here, there is Meetup.com that is a great way to meet people in social settings. Just look for LGBT/gay/queer/lesbian/whatever groups and join them and participate. You'll be able to get to know people, talk about experiences (or lack thereof, maybe find potential dates outside of the group).



If you cannot bring yourself to meet new people, then I would reiterate the prior suggestions of therapy or support groups to help you determine options that will work for you.



But it sounds as if the root of your problem is just not accepting yourself as anything remotely LGBT. And that is definitely something that only professional clinical support can help you deal with directly.
I've been to LGBT meet-up groups. The vast majority of time, I'm around men because they're more welcoming and there's more of them in the groups. I wouldn't even know how to insert myself in the women's cliques.

I mainly meet people through work and various gigs. I've met people through school too, but the only person I find interesting there is a guy. I don't know how I'd ever date (unless I pursue the aforementioned guy) because I can't use online dating (I'm afraid that having a recognizable profile would be an ethical violation in my future industry). There are in-person dating events, but those are for straight people so that would limit me to men and while I don't mind being romantically involved with a guy, I'm not sure about the sex.
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