Unfortunately, when I went back and edited, it wouldn't allow me to edit the title. I do have a mood disorder. I do not want to "tag" my son as MH because he has not yet been diagnosed with anything. I think mental illness is something you have to figure out for yourself with the help of all the information that is out there and someone educated in treating mental health illnesses. Sometimes we can hide our mental illness and not realize that we have a problem. Other than life long sleep issues; I have always functioned just fine when my life is not stressful. I do not consistently take it because of its effect on my sex life but taking Sertraline(Zoloft) for a while made me realize how out of control my thoughts can get when under stress. I get a thought in my head and can't let go of it. This really causes a lot of trouble when the thought that keeps replaying is negative, delusional or just an exagerration because I obsess on one aspect or wrongdoing. It nearly killed me when I was obsessing about SUI and why it would fix some of my problems.

My H commends me a lot with coming so far (being more and more stable since my attempt). He is more positive than negative. I take a some of my frustrations out on him and sometimes he reacts negatively. He is only human.

But you are right, our family still has a lot of big problems that we need to work out. We were not working on the right problems for many years. The children are the ones who pay the price in these situations. I will always feel like I owe something to my children that I can never repay or undo because of my actions.